My Life In A Snapshot 5

   This picture was taken in 1975. I was four years old. The picture was taken in the front yard of our house on North Territorial Road in Dexter, MI. It was an old farm house, and when the family makes reference to living here that's what we call it "The Farm".

   My mother and I had a conversation yesterday. I was telling her some of my earliest memories, they are from this period of time at this house. We ended up having a lengthy and enjoyable conversation about these memories. I think she was a little surprised by some of the things I remember from this time. I was a little surprised by how much I remembered once I really started thinking and talking about it. I have long periods of time where I have almost no memories. What I do remember is often vague and confused. Between the ages of eight and twelve I have almost nothing. So to have such good memories of being four...

   Some of the memories are actual visual images, some of them are more like memories of feelings. Our conversation started by me drawing a small diagram of the layout of the first floor. Complete with furniture. I didn't remember everything but what I did draw was correct. I didn't remember my parents bedroom or the bathroom on the first floor, until my mom mentioned them, but as soon a she did I remembered clearly. I placed the television, the couch, the dining table, doors to outside, and to the the basement. I knew where the stairway was, and where my bedroom was. I can recall the furniture layout in my room. I couldn't remember the rest of the second floor. Even when my mother told me where things where I couldn't visualize them.

  I think the most significant thing that comes with these memories is that they are they only memories I have of my dad living with the family. My parents had been split before they lived here, and after living here they divorced. It's not so much I remember living together as a family, as I have memories of both parents at this place. I remember repetitive things that happened more than specific events. It's not all clear.

   I was a quiet kid... but I was busy. I got around if ya' know what I mean. I could remember the yard as well as the house. When I would go out to play I would regularly find my way to the neighbors house by a path that connected our backyards. The chicken coop was on that path and I would stop and look at the chickens on my way. The neighbors were Wendy and Dick. I don't remember Dick but I do remember Wendy well. She cut hair in her basement, and I liked her barber chair. She had children's puzzles and toys that I liked to play with. And she liked me to play with them. She would always have cookies or some kind of goodies, but my most vivid memory there was of the wall paper. It was like "old west" style news print. Wanted posters, and tonic advertisements, old news articles... I couldn't read them but I liked looking at the old pictures. Often times my mother would not realize I had made my way to the neighbors. But Wendy would call her, and tell her where I was. She would let me stay and visit for while, many times she would have a client there and they were always highly entertained with me. After she was done with her customer she would set me up in the chair, give me a little trim and send me off home. Sometimes with vegetables from the garden or something to deliver to my mother.

   I remember the critters around the place, there were horses and ponies. They belonged to the owner of the house. I remember the ponies better than the horses, Candy and Cricket were they're names. I don't remember the horse's names but I do remember going for a ride on one once. As I mentioned there was a chicken coop, and I liked the chickens. I use to throw food to them and "help" collect the eggs. We had a dog. Her name was Polly, a big Black and Tan coon dog. She was friendly enough but she was big and she liked to jump on people. I can recall my Mother raking in the front yard and getting bit on the hand by a snake and how much it scared her. (It was only a Garter Snake.) I remember the mice, and the mouse traps. I actually remember places were we set mouse traps. I use to like to check them and empty them. My mom says I liked emptying them so much she would tell me if I wasn't good she wasn't going to "let" me empty the traps.  I remember my dad cleaning animals from hunting, and I remember understanding that we were going to eat them. We had many a rabbit and pheasant for dinner.

   I remember some of the vehicles. I used to ride on my mothers tractor with her to the garden. I didn't remember that it was her tractor or were we would ride to, I just remember riding on the tractor. There were motorcycle rides with my dad to C.J's. A little country store down the road. We would get Superman ice cream and eat it out in the parking lot before we rode home. I don't remember the cars my parents had though.

   There were other memories that weren't so good. I was not a very healthy kid. I got pneumonia often and had respiratory problems. I  remember taking a lot of medicine, and spending a lot of time in mist tents, and there was always a humidifier in my room. I remember the humidifier. It was blue, the top lifted off to put the water in. There was a... Stem? that stuck down in the water and spun at high speed, I use to take the top off and touch the stem while it spun. I remember dripping water on the stem and spraying it around the room. I remember the the humming sound it made when I would grab the stem and stop it from spinning.

   I remember some family interaction, such as being in the living room, I was sitting on the floor with my dad, my sister and mother on the couch. My dad and I were watching Star Trek, and my mother and sister were teasing us for watching it, trying to get him to turn the channel... And me knowing he wasn't going to. I also remember some arguments between my parents that weren't about T.V. and weren't all in fun.

   All in all I get the feeling that this was a mostly happy time in my life. I think that's why I remember things so well from then. It always seemed like such a big house, and the yard seemed massive to me. It was a world of wonder around every corner living in that place. I have good memories and easy feelings when think about it.

   We moved many times after living at The Farm, and that was not the first place we lived. It's just as early as I can recall. I have earlier recollections, but the aren't the same. I have to say, I find it a little odd that I can remember being three and four so well, and so many other years are so vague and foggy. Heck, most of the time I can't remember what I did yesterday, or what I had for lunch. or even if I had lunch some times. One of the things I have really liked about writing these Life in a Snapshot posts has been looking at the old pictures and really trying to think about what was going on in my life at that time. Every time I have been surprised. I've been surprised by the memories that the photos invoke, but then as I start to write about it even more comes back. This post was a little different, it came from a conversation about memories that I have, and then I  found a photo to fit. But It worked out the same. As I wrote this I remembered more that we didn't even talk about last night. I could probably continue to write about memories from this time even now.

   I went back by the place in my early thirties for the first time since we lived there. I almost didn't recognize the place. The first thing that struck me was how small the place was compared to my memory. The house, the yard, the distance between the house and the road... They were all much smaller than my four year old mind would have described. The next thing that hit me was how run down the place was. There were out buildings gone, the yard and driveway were filled with broken down cars and trucks. There were no horses, no garden, the grass was uncut, and the house was falling apart. It looked like "The Junkyard" instead of "The Farm". It was kind of sad to see it like that for the first time after so many years. I actually still don't live far from there now, and it's not uncommon for my travels to take me out that way. But I never even pay it a second glance, it's not the same place. I'll keep the pictures I have in my mind from when I was four.

   How old were you in your earliest memories? Can you draw a floor plan of your house from when you were four? Have a memory you want to share?  Leave me a comment I'd like to hear from you. And thanks for reading my story. I hope you enjoyed it.

   

Legacy - By Rum Punch Drunk, Guest Post #1

 It pleases me to no end to bring you this post. It was written by Rum Punch Drunk. Rum Punch Drunk is one of the first blogs I looked at when I  started out myself, and I have been following along since. I have seen RPD post on everything from genetically engineered food, to issues of depression, to the tragedy of 9/11, and everything in between. Rum Punch always makes thought provoking posts, and helps you to consider different and sometimes conflicting views in a non-confrontational way. RPD always invites you to share and discuss your own views on the subjects broached as well.

 When I contacted Rum Punch about doing this post, I didn't give any specifics about topic, length, form, or anything really. The title of this blog is Speaking My Mind... And that's what I wanted from Rum Punch. As I said I have been following RPD's writing for a while now and I was pretty confidant that whatever Rum Punch came up with would be something that would fit the theme of my blog, no problem at all.

 I was right. When I received the finished post I knew it was going to be perfect. It was exactly what I was hoping for. We set a delayed time to post it, to give each other ample time to prepare for the delivery. I thought the time we set was pretty pertinent to the post, as it's the new year and people are thinking about resolutions and life changes, so what better to consider in these decisions than your Legacy.

 I should have known though, that life is full of surprises. Now, in hindsight, it is a little ironic that we decided on the date we did. Two days ago on January 2, my Uncle by marriage, and friend by virtue passed away. And this post suddenly has whole new meanings in my mind. His death was sudden and unexpected. He was fifty-six years old. Here today... Gone the next. And now all that is left, is what he left behind with us.

 For me... His legacy will be a wealth of laughs, happy memories, and an endless supply of one liners. His attitude in life will inspire me not to have a "glass half full" attitude, but rather a "my glass is always full" attitude. He was a kind, caring, and gentle man. He would give you the shirt of his back, quite literally, and be happy about it if he thought he helped you. For me, Timmy was one of the greats, and my legacy from him will be rich.

 But his legacy is greater than that. He had a wife, and two kids. He had his brother and sisters, other neices and nephews, a life-time of friends, co-workers, and acquaintances. His legacy will carry on with each one of them. And it will be as different for each individual as the relationship they shared.

 So, I hope this post encourages you to delve into your own life, and really take a look around. I'll leave you now with Rum Punch Drunk, and a final question... What will you leave behind when your time comes?

Legacy by Rum-Punch Drunk

Many of us may know of a man called Mr. Alfred Nobel, who became infamous by inventing dynamite and producing explosives. Through this he became wealthy and powerful. He thought he had it all. Until, sadly, Mr. Nobel's brother died and the newspapers made the mistake of publishing an obituary based on Alfred Nobel, instead of his deceased brother. His life's work was summed up bleakly under the headline 'The merchant of death is dead'.

The article stated that Mr. Nobel was the one 'who made it possible to kill more people and more quickly than anyone who had ever lived'. Can you imagine waking up one morning and with coffee in hand, sitting down to read the papers and seeing yourself on the front page being described this way? Shock and dismay to say the least!

Who in their right mind would want to be remembered for creating death, doom, hate and mayhem anyway? Who would be happy for their name to be dragged through the mud as the scum of the earth after their death? Not many.

From that day forward Mr Nobel was determined that the legacy he would leave behind would be completely different from what he had just read. The plan he came up with was to change his 'will' in order for his vast fortune to be used to establish a series of Nobel prizes.

He achieved his aim. Nowadays when you hear about the Nobel prize, rarely does anyone associate it with the man who invented explosives. Legacies can be changed.

The opposite was the case for the late, famous Jimmy Saville, who spent years supporting charities raising thousands upon thousands of pounds to help children, only for many to come forward upon his death and alledge he was a pedophile. His family even had to remove the gravestone in fear of it being defaced by the public.

With that in mind, you may be enjoying your lifestyle, but how confident are you that you would be remembered in a decent, respectful way?

Do you even care that your actions today could have a detrimental effect on the loved ones you leave behind after your death? Or could your passing away be a case of 'good riddance to bad rubbish?'

Anyone and everyone will leave behind a legacy, good or bad. You don't have to be wealthy, rich, a homeowner or even have a job. The issue is - what do you do with what you've got? Do you nurture, encourage and support those around you? Do you give any of your time and energy to the benefit of others? Or are you just living for yourself?

So many people on their death bed want to make things right. If there was just one more thing that they could do, if they could just say one more thing to that person.... You haven't reached that moment yet. There is still time for you to go and do it. What are you waiting for? Till you lie down for that last time and you can't get up?

In light of the above...

Have you any idea what people would say about you if you were to die today?

It would be great to hear your views, comments and opinions on this topic or better still, what are your ideas for your personal legacy?

2012 In The Rear View

   2012 is quickly drawing towards a close. It has been quite a year. Some very good things have happened, some very bad things have happened, and yet life continues on. The memories made, and lessons learned will continue with it.

   When I started this blog in February, I was really just hoping to write about some things going on in my life to give my friends and family a way to keep up with me. I had closed my facebook account, and there were very few people that I knew on Google+, so I created the blog. I sent emails to all my friends and family with the web address of my page... The results were underwhelming. But I kept writing anyway, just because I kind of liked doing it.
   Even though I didn't get very many visits or "page views", I got something out of the writing itself. I found writing about things was an easier way to express myself than verbally, for one thing... But in expressing my thoughts in a written form gave me a chance to analyze those thoughts from a different perspective. I could read over what I said, and think about it more objectively, and in the process I have learned a great deal about myself.
   As I mentioned, I didn't get a lot of traffic to my blog in the beginning... However, that all changed when I got the wise idea to blog about a federal trial I followed in interest of a wrongly accused friend. I attended the trial every day and wrote about it here. As it happens, for a high-profile case there seemed to be very little coverage from the media, and what coverage you could find was minimal and biased. Not to say that what I wrote wasn't biased, but I'm not a journalist either. So, I was really the only one with any first hand knowledge of the trial, writing about it on a regular basis. And I got a lot of attention, more than I cared for really. Overall, I made twenty-one posts titled Smoke And Mirrors and in a little over a month I had amassed almost seven-thousand page views. I had regular visits from Washington DC, and Detroit (Which is were the trial was held.). So, I know the FBI was reading along with me. I also know some of the defense attorneys kept up with what I was writing, a couple of them even left comments for me. I assume the prosecutors would have had some interest as well. Not to mention Militias from across the country, I received more email than I ever have in my life, from militia members wanting to know more about the trial. Sometimes I was getting eighty emails a day. And then, all the defendants families and friends were also reading my blog. It was more pressure than I really wanted to deal with... But I started it... So I finished it. The trial ended up working out as good as it could have, and when it was over, I didn't look at my blog for two months.
   When I came back around it was in the middle of a family crisis. There were a number of things going on at the time, but the biggest thing was my Grand Mothers health was on a rapid decline, and there was a lot of moving her from place to place, as she went from her home to my mothers, then to the hospital, then back and forth several times form the hospital to the nursing home, until she finally won her battle and found her peace. I wrote about that briefly, but there are still sensitive matters over the ordeal within the family, so out of respect for the family after the funeral I didn't write anymore about it.  But I still miss my Granny every day, so eventually I'm sure some of those feelings will come out.
   With everything going on it made it very difficult if not impossible to post regularly. After two months off and some sporadic posts, I was right back to square one with no audience. Which really was fine. It's not like I was going to make a habit out of following federal trials, and I don't think FBI agents, and militia men have a whole lot of interest my flower pictures, or stories of cruising the back roads with my Mom.  So I was  going to have to shift my reader base anyway. And to be really honest, it still really doesn't matter to me who or how many people read what I write. I've said it before and it still holds true, I do this for me... Nobody else. I have made a couple of really good friends through blogging, and I love to hear from them. I'm sure given time I'll make even more friends, but I think it's better to just do my own thing and not worry about page views and statistics. Don't get me wrong, part of the attraction to blogging is the interaction you create with people through comments on each others blogs. And with a recent commitment to regular posting, and a  bit of networking, I have as much interaction as I need to get out of it whatever I want.
   Most of what I post on my blog is of a personal nature. I've written about my opinions, my past, my present, my future, my family, my friends, my experiences, my likes, my dislikes... Whatever happens to be on my mind when I sit down at the keyboard is what I write about. Sometimes I really like the things I come up with, sometimes I reread what I wrote and wonder what the hell I was thinking... But I always learn something from everything I post here, and that is the most important part of this whole deal for me.

   Here is a list of my top five posts (Not including Smoke and Mirrors.) of 2012, by top five I mean MY top five, not necessarily by most page views:

           On The Wings Of An Eagle... (Sort Of), This is a more recent post. I think it is probably my favorite post so far. It has some of my best pictures in it, and I really felt like I relayed what that experience was like for me. This post is low on opinion and high on experience, I think it's a post everyone can enjoy.
           A Perfect Day???, A very simple day, with a very simple message. A perfect day is all in your point of view...
           My Life In A Snapshot 1, A true story... And my first attempt at humor. I think anyone (except my Mother) can get a chuckle out of this short story.
           My Life In A Snapshot 2, I like this post because it was my first attempt at delving into some very personal feelings. This was the first post that made me feel like blogging could be personally beneficial.
            The Sunshine Blogger Award, Another attempt at humor. This post makes the list for a couple of reasons, neither of which is recognition for any "award". One reason the post is here is because it has more page views than any other post I've done... Including the Smoke and Mirrors stuff. But more than that this post was inspired by a person that without her support and encouragement, I doubt I would still be blogging here. So, thanks Menopausal Mother for being a friend. And any of you with complaints about my blog... You can hold her responsible. Follow the links in this post to her page and tell her all about it... (Well... Visit her page, but don't really complain about my blog there, okay.)

   2013... That sounds so futuristic. When I was a kid in the seventies the year 2000 seemed as much like science fiction as Star Wars. Yet here we are about to enter 2013, and out live the end of the Mayan Calender. Who'da thunk it?
   I'm hoping the new year brings less problems, and more solutions. Less tragedy, and more peace, and happiness. Fewer enemies, and more friends. I hope that I will build many more great memories with friends and family. I hope that I will continue to learn about myself, and take steps forward in life instead of backward. Mostly I want to live life, be happy, and know that when I'm gone... I did more good than harm. Who knows what really will happen. Regardless of how life unfolds, I think I'll stick around for a while and write about it some more... Here's to Speaking My Mind in 2013.

HAPPY NEW YEAR IN 2013!!!  

   On a final note I will be breaking in the new year with my first guest post. I will be featuring my friend from London, Rum Punch Drunk. Rum Punch Drunk is awesome and I know if you come by for a read you'll be challenged to think about how you live in the years to come...

   And I hope to feature some of my other favorite bloggers as time goes by too... I hope you will keep reading along with me as it all unfolds...   

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

   I wanted to take the time to wish everybody a joyous holiday season. I celebrate Christmas, so from here on that's what I'll say... But you can replace it with any holiday you want, and I'll still mean it. I wish everyone to feel a little happiness in their hearts this season.
   To my Family, MERRY CHRISTMAS! I love you all. I know I can be a little "grinchy" sometimes. I don't like the commercialism of it all (specialy cus I poe), but I do love this time of year. The biggest blessings I receive come this time of year. The smiles, the laughing, the making of new memories. The time I spend with you. We poke fun at each other, and laugh about it together. (Well, usually.) What I'm saying is, it is you, my family, that makes this time of year so special to me.
   Mom, Tess, Dan, Dave, Jess, Jennifer, Cayla, Jessy, Daniel, Katrina, Ty, Sophie, whether you  realize it or  not, each and every one of you has influenced my life in one way or another. You have all given me something I didn't have before, many things in fact. You enrich my life on a daily basis. You have always been there for me, and I know you always will be. That's Christmas enough for me. I hope you all find the same joy this year. Merry Christmas.
   To my aunts and uncles, my cousins here at home in Michigan, and abroad in Kentucky, Ohio, California, Montana, and various other parts of the world. I miss you  all, I wish we could see each other more often, but hey, we do the best we can. I love you all. And I hope the coming days are filled with peace, happiness, and love. Merry Christmas.
   To the Meeks family... You are also my family at heart. I have never met a more honest and genuine bunch of people. You have been my friends, and supported me through the hardest times of my life. And still we remain friends. That means something. It shows a genuine love for me, just the way I am. And I'll never forget that. I love you all too. Merry Christmas.
   I have the best friends in the world. And the list is too long to write. You know who you are, and you guys are freakin' awesome. I don't know how I ended up with so many genuine, trustworthy, reliable friends in my life, but I did. You guys are my fishing partners, my buddies... My brothers. Merry Christmas.
   To my facebook friends and blogging buddies, some of you I know personally, some of you I don't. But, I thank you all for putting smiles on my face on a daily basis. Thanks for making me think about some things in ways I may not have on my own. Thanks for giving me a little peak into your lives. Merry Christmas to you all.
   And finally, I just want to give a holler to the Stone Family and the other defendants in the Hutaree Trial. If ya'll are still reading along with me... Merry Christmas.
   I already know I am going to enjoy myself this year. I know I am going to have a merry Christmas, how could I not. Thanks to all of you.

   I can't quite stop there, it's unfortunate that not everyone is as blessed as I am. While I'm certain we ALL have things we can be thankful for, for some it's not as easy to remember that. Think about that this season, and do something nice for someone. It doesn't have to be huge... Offer a kind word, hold a door, give someone a coat, buy someone a meal. You never know how far a small thing will go. It might change someone's day, it might make someones Christmas merrier... It might change someones life. And in return, you might just get the greatest blessing of your life.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Whose Fault Is It?

   This post is going to be a little different for me. It might be a little strange, and a lot condensed. I think I could write a book about my feelings on the things I want to talk about today.I started writing a post about my feelings on the Sandy Hook tragedy. I couldn't... I don't know how I feel. There is no possible way I can comprehend what those people are feeling. I don't even have children of my own and my heart is absolutely broken for them. I don't have words for what I feel. So I thought I would address the eminent destruction of our earth tomorrow. But when I went blog-surfing today I noticed eight bloggers out of every ten were posting about Armageddon. I don't believe the hype anyway. I think life will continue on very much like it has been. That's not to say I don't think our world is in jeopardy. So I'm not going to target either subject in particular. I thought I would just write about some of  my concerns with the environment and society.

   I'm just going to dive in head first and take on my biggest environmental concern. Have you ever asked yourself why there is oil in the ground? What's it doing there? What is it's purpose? It has one you know. I'm not an educated man. I dropped out of high-school in the tenth grade. Never been to college. I'm no geologist, but I know that everything in nature has a purpose. Everything carries weight in the balance.
   So, I asked myself what do we use petroleum products for. I can think of hundreds of things, and that's the part that really scares me, we use oil for so many things, we're dependent on it. Anyway, I think I can safely lump most of oils uses into  three categories. The biggest use is obviously fuel. But we also use oil to reduce friction with lubricants, and to regulate temperature in many machines and structures.
   I think it serves similar purposes in the earth. I don't know... Does oil lubricate tectonic plates? If you take too much oil would it cause more earthquakes? Does oil help regulate the temperature of the earths core? If we suck all the oil out of the ground would it cause a global rise in temperature? Maybe we would see more volcanic eruptions, and more intense storms. I know I'm reaching... I don't have any real knowledge of such things. But, it all kinda makes sense in my mind. It seems possible. I may not know what the affects are, but I guarantee there are affects.
   We are now exploiting the deeper reserves of the earth. Every where you go on our coastlines you see the oil rigs searching for oil deeper and deeper. Why? Are the shallower reserves running out? It's not like we can put it back you know.

   And do we really all realize that we need trees to survive on this planet? I don't think we do. We keep cutting down more and more. We don't replace them... We build houses there, and department stores, industries that burn more fuel, and consume more wood.
   And it's not just cutting them down either. There have been massive fire outbreaks all around the world, decimating entire forests.
   Our climate is changing. We have eleven apple trees in our yard. We didn't pick up a single bucket of apples this fall. There weren't any. If trees don't flower and fruit properly, they don't reproduce. If they don't reproduce... Eventually we won't either.

   And what the heck is going on with the animals? Where are the Honey Bees? Why are there whole flocks of birds falling dead from the sky? Why are there fish washing up on shores across world by the tens of thousands? These are our base species, these are animals that we depend on for survival. These are animals that are critical to the balance.

   All these things are happening in our environment. There are a lot of other things going on too.  And quite frankly it scares the hell out of me. But what scares me more than any of this is... Us. People. This is OUR fault. We are the ones responsible. And we seem not to care... We don't do anything about it... We just keep trudging through our daily lives, consuming everything, hoping we make it from one day to the next without being affected by our own neighbors.
   No one takes accountability. We blame things on the Government, we blame things on nature, we blame things on our neighbors. Then we blame things on God. And in the meantime terrorists fly planes into buildings, and blow themselves and whoever else they can to pieces with a bomb. Our brothers and sisters, our mothers and fathers, are dying in wars in foreign lands, were we have no business. The ever looming threat of nuclear war grows while people are killing our children right here in our own schools, on our own streets for Pete's sake. The world has gone crazy.
   We have to wake up. We have to take accountability for the things that happen around us, because we affect those things. We make a difference in what happens around us. We have to take the blinders off and start taking responsibility, and stop passing the buck. We have to think about what we are consuming. Where did it come from? What is it's purpose? Can we replace it? Is there something better we can use? We can't continue to blindly consume whatever is given to us. If we don't consume it, there's no reason to keep producing it. The less we use, the less we have to produce. It's basic logic. We are the ones that are throwing off the balance.
   We have to get involved in our communities. We have to get to know our neighbors. We have to get involved in local government. We have to learn how to handle emergencies ourselves. We have to stop investing all our efforts into technology, and get involved personally. We have to stop being so wrapped up in our own lives and reach out to help someone who needs it. WE have to take responsibility.

   I don't know... Sometimes I think maybe things have gone to far, maybe there are things set in motion with our environment that can't be reversed. Maybe we have over-populated and are now destined to regular outbreaks of violence as people compete for their space in this world. But then, I can't help but believe that if everyone took responsibility for their own actions, and held themselves accountable for the things that happen around them, these things wouldn't happen.

   Maybe, just maybe, if someone would have taken the time, and made the commitment to helping a troubled kid in Connecticut. Maybe there would be twenty-eight people still living there. So the main question I'm left with is, whose fault is it?.. Whose fault is anything really?..