Life as Life Happens

    I have been away from my blog for about two months. There has been a lot going on, but I just haven't had time to sit down and write. I wrote my last Smoke and Mirrors post before this one, because I wanted to get it written while it was still fresh in my mind. The trial is over now and it really was an awesome experience in many ways. But I am glad it is over, and I hope to never be in a federal courthouse again.
    I like to try to be a positive person. I try to write about positive things here on my blog. In my post titled Car 66, I wrote about my Grandfather, who I never actually met. All I have of him is stories. Not all of them are good. But I shared a story that is of his successes and not his failures because that's what I want to pass on to the younger generations of our family. I often write about family events and good times with friends fishing, or sharing my biking adventures... But as we all know, life is not always peachy-keen. And I don't always feel positive. Some things are just darn hard to deal with... And I don't think there will be any sugar coating this post.

     My Grandmother, or Granny as we call her, has not been doing very well. She is eighty-nine years old, and things are starting fail. She's a tough ol' girl, and she has been through a lot over the last decade or so. She has dealt with several serious health issues, including breast cancer, Macular Degeneration, a broken hip, and she has seemed to be able to stay on top of it all. Now her parts seem to be having a harder time doing that. Her heart is weakening, as well as her kidneys. And as much as I hate to say it, she seems to losing some cognitive ability. She is very tired all the time, and often confused about things. Granny is greatly appreciated and loved within our family, and the decline is hard to watch and accept.

 Aunt Judy, Granny, and my Mom, at Thanksgiving 2011.

Granny, Thanksgiving 2011. I am thankful for my Granny.

   The problems she is having are not likely to improve much, the doctors have said that the issues are likely to be reoccurring and progressive. At the moment, she is doing well, she has good days and bad days.
    She has always been a very independent woman, and until recently she has been able to live alone. Probably, most of he life she has lived in Kentucky. That's where she was born, and I think if you asked her, it's Kentucky she would call home. She Married and raised her children in Michigan and has lived here several times in between, but always ended up going back south. She moved back to Michigan several years ago, to be closer to her daughters, as she struggled with her failing eyesight, and recovering from her mastectomy. But she still lived on her own in her own apartment.
    She, and I for that matter, still have a good deal of family in Kentucky. As for myself, I have vague but very fond memories of our trips to Kentucky. Not all of them are vague, but I have only been to Kentucky as a young child, I've not been back there as an adult. Something I am going to have to change. She on the other hand has been there all along, and I know she has been missed a great deal since she has come to live in Michigan. Her nieces, my cousins, have come to visit every year since she's been gone sometime around her birthday. And this year was no exception. It is always a joy to have them come and I have thoroughly enjoyed getting reacquainted with them as an adult.

From right to left counter-clockwise: Shirley (cousin), Granny, Judy (aunt), Cayla (niece), Cathy (aunt), Helen (mom), Jessica (niece), Traci (sister), Betty (cousin), Ann (cousin). 2012

Granny visiting with her family 2012

Ann and Betty, because you couldn't see their sweet faces in the group photo. 2012

Family get together in 2011. Clockwise from left: Erica (cousin), Granny, Traci (sister), Wilma (cousin), Helen (mom), Ann (cousin), Stephanie (cousin), Shirley (cousin), Katrina (niece), Betty (cousin). And to the side of the circle is Dave (brother-in-law) and Cayla (niece).

    Within the last few months, Granny has been having trouble taking her medications properly, she has had several trips to the doctor's office and to the emergency room, and seems to have developed some severe anxieties. My mother and her sisters, have thought it best that she not be on her own, and the decision was made to bring her to my Mother's house. However, there was a good deal of work that needed to be done before this could happen. Her room needed to be prepared, My mother bought and I installed a window unit air conditioner in her room. Furniture had to be moved, and trip hazards resolved through-out the house.
    I also live at my Mother's house, and while the living arrangements started out being mutually beneficial, I must admit (embarrassingly so) I have not lived up to my end of the bargain over the last year or so. And I have a great deal of things that I have needed to deal with regardless, but with Granny needing to come here for her own well-being, I have been forced to deal with some of theses things. I spent nearly a month in the basement, cleaning up cat messes, mold from basement floods, and my own mess. I won't get into the nitty-gritty, it's humiliating, I'll just say it was pretty extreme. A special thanks to my sister for wading in and helping me out. And a sincere apology to my Mother for letting things in her home get so out of control. The basement is now scrubbed, stripped, sealed, and painted. And that's enough about that...
    After a month and a half of my Mother and I busting our humps to get the house in order for Granny to move in, the big day came and much to Granny's chagrin, we moved her into the house. Granny never wants to be an imposition, she never wants to trouble anyone, and she enjoys her own space. She did not really want to move in to my Mom's, but I think a part of her also realized that it was necessary. It makes it kind of hard really. You see her struggling, or uncomfortable, and you ask her if there is anything you can do... And she says, "no honey, i'm just fine..." can I get you anything Granny? "No sweetheart, I don't need anything..." If you can guess what is wrong and just take care of it for her without asking, she is just so thankful and sweet about it... But if you can't guess, she ain't askin'... (Unless of course you are one of her daughters.)
    She was at my Mom's house for about two weeks, and some things really seemed to be showing some improvement. She seemed to be more comfortable more of the time. She seemed to be more lucid and less confused more of the time. She had terrible swelling in her legs, water retention from the kidney failure, and her legs wept water to the point of wetting the sheets and her bedding, and that had greatly improved under my Mother's care. In fact, her legs had almost returned to normal and the water weeping had stopped.

Granny and Stephanie. Granny's 88th birthday 2011.

Granny and Cayla. Granny's 88th birthday 2011.

    Sometimes though, things are not exactly as they seem. She had an episode one evening and my Mom took her to the emergency room, where she was admitted so they could do a run up of tests to see what was going on. They found that her potassium was extremely low, (probably from the medications she was taking for the water retention), her blood pressure was also very low, (which is usually high), and the heart failure and kidney failure are progressing faster than anticipated. She remained at St. Joe hospital for a full two weeks, where they have tried to get her body chemistry back in order. After a long two weeks (especially for my Mom) we just moved her to Saline Evangelical yesterday to undergo some rehab and see if she can build some strength back up. She is not happy with the situation, and I can't say as though I blame her. It doesn't seem like a very fun place to be to me. But the facility is the best around, and the staff seemed to be pretty on the ball about things. They checked her over very thoroughly, and were very sweet about it.  I think she is in good hands for now. I went with my Mom to help with transporting Granny, and to be a little moral support for them both. I also wore a very special shirt, for our first visit to the facility, I don't know if it had anything to do with how sweet and professional the staff presented themselves, but I'm sure it didn't hurt. I think I'll print a copy of this photo for her to have in her room.

NOBODY better mess with MY Granny...

    We are rather unsure of were things will go from here. I hope that she will regain enough strength to return to stay with family with minimal help, but to be honest I doubt she will be able to return to living on her own again. We still have her apartment, but the end of the month will soon be here, rent will be due, and decisions will have to be made. Decisions like these are not easy to make either. The possibility also exists that the family may have to commit to a more permanent situation with the nursing home. Who knows, for now we have to take things one day at a time, and deal with life as life happens.
   If you are the praying type, please include my Granny in your prayers. My mother and her sister's as well, as the bulk of the difficult decisions lie on them. Times like this are never easy for anyone, but when the responsibility lies on your shoulders it can be very hard to know if you are doing the right thing or not. And sometimes doing the right thing just feels wrong.
   Mom when you read this I would like you to know, I am very proud of how you have handled this situation. Granny could not have anyone better to care for her, and have faith that you are doing what is right all along the way. I wish I could say with confidence that things are going to get easier, but it is likely that things will continue to get harder as this progresses. Please know that I am here to help however I can, whether you need something fixed, moved, or muscled about, or you just need someone to spill your guts too, I'm here. And I'm not alone, I'm sure there are many more family and friends who would say the same, if they just knew what to do. Please don't feel like your on your own. I love you, and will be here for whatever you need.
    So that sums up the situation with Granny, I still have more to catch up on with the last couple of months that I've been missing in action as far as my blog is concerned... I will probably have a couple more posts up within the next several days, so please check back again soon. Until then please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers. Any thoughts and comments that you might like to leave here in the meantime will probably be appreciated by more than just me. Thanks for stopping by...